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That’s a different thing for us. For “WE” have been so wrong, about so many things, for so long. 

In meetings, “WE” sit around every day and explain to each other our weaknesses. After a while in sobriety, as God becomes a bigger and bigger part of our lives, He begins knocking off the sharp edges. Eventually, when seeing any situation that appear dysfunctional in the extreme, we automatically go back in our own hearts and minds. There, we re-understand how that semblance went down in our lives and others we know in recovery. 

…But by the Grace of God

“WE” have learned to now accept, tolerate and finally love ourselves and others in absolute gratitude for what our Lord has done for us. 

Crazy Amazing!

Thinking about my past I would get discouraged. That was only because I‘m was thinking about it from what I know today. I just didn’t know better then, as I know now. 

As a child growing up, I could only understand through what I was I taught. Taught by those around me who “ loved me.” I now know that THEY, could only give me what THEY knew and what THEY were taught. Later in life, I heard it explained succinctly in the rooms when you said… “You can’t give away something you haven’t got”. 

Well…neither could THEY!

We need to give ourselves and our “teachers” a break. We were all young with little real world experience. Hey, it only comes with age! Young and inexperienced we make mistakes, especially someone like me. I was a young drunken donkey headed, stubborn mule. You told me when I came in, “A smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from the mistakes of others”. Well I guess I failed on both counts. I was drinking too much as a youngster to learn much from my own mistakes, never mind learning from others.  Back then, without ANY answers, I thought I had them all! Typical, teenage alcoholic, lame-brain.

Today, since I have cleared up and allowed the fog to lift, I see my past in it’s reality. I WAS LEARNING.

So, if you HAVE to beat up on yourself, please, do it with a heavy feather.

It’s really just that simple for the alcoholic. When we pick up the drink or the drug everything turns into nothing. When we put them down, everything comes back. The catch is, that everything comes back but, what we lost in the last round of our active addiction. 

As I see so often in the rooms, as others return, IF THEY DO, often many years have passed. Those were precious years that could have been used to resurrect a wonderful new life in recovery, but instead, jails, institution and finally at the height of misery death.

Stay with us for your real life adventure beyond your wildest dreams. 

Your worth it!

After some time in solid recovery we begin to stop doing those things that were detrimental to our well being. For instance, being with people that are looking for a “good time,” going to places where we would be tempted to fall into our old ways, Having things around us that could pull us back down. All of these positive actions on our part, came as a result of becoming sober. 

As we all know every action begins with a thought but… “Are you kidding me, sure I know I needed to change people places and things but, I’m gonna think about whatever the heck I want to!”

Some refer to the human mind as the secret place. It is one of the two places where God resides with us. When you think about it, anywhere God resides should be well kept, but what exactly does that mean when it comes to the mind? 

Step six and seven head us that way. If we want God to remove all of our defects of character then we need to start working on our thought life. Christ explains “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, anything that’s excellent or praiseworthy think about such things. God made us in such a way that we can only think of one thing at a time. Here, He’s giving us the solution. If you need to correct your dark mental ways then think correctly with the Light of Love. 

As we progress in sobriety we begin to spend more of our time thinking good thoughts for ourself and others. Those good thoughts will lead to more good actions. It’s not as hard as it seems. You just needed sobriety in order to be able to execute, some disciplined thinking. Now by God Grace, you’ve got it, so just use it.

I had said the serenity prayer until I was blue in the face in early sobriety and continue to today. I have said it so many times, that eventually God granted. me the serenity to know the difference. 

Our questions now is… 

What is our path of constructive action when we are faced with something beyond our control that we desperately believe requires change.

Prayer is the answer.

As we become sober, the one thing we see is how little control we really have. These days I’m not much on control. The older I become, the less control I want. “Thy will not mine be done”..eh? I know He has a better way in every situation, if I let Him. Faced with these situations, what choice do I really have. I have the choice to pray and ask for His divine will to be accomplished. “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

Thank God in recovery we have learned the importance of asking for help! 

As my wonderful late sponsor Mr. Wally K use to say.” When you go to bed at night throw your shoes under the bed. When you wake up  in the morning. and your on your knees lookin for um, ask God to keep you sober and help you through the day.” Such a simple solution for what seemed to me at the time overwhelming, daily living.

What does it really mean to pray? 

We ask through heart felt sincerity for Christ’s divine will to guide our daily dilemmas to His correct conclusions. Thee answer to prayer is always the same… yes, no or wait a while, but know this, your prayer is always heard and will be answered in God’s time. As addicts and alcoholics we usually want our prayer solution to be granted yesterday.  I have to tell you it’s my experience that the “wait a while thing” is usually what’s gonna go down. Its required because typically, we humans have screwed things up to a such a point that only God can bring a positive solution for everyone involved.

When most of us think of this word we think bad news but, if we can learn, consequences have an up side. It’s the “if we can learn” thing here that’s important. Under the influence, consequences came and went in my life without learning a thing. When I think about it, how else could I have taken myself to jails institutions and death? Lights off, in the fog and surrounded by others more lost than I was.

NOT GOOD! 

It was only the Grace of our Lord, plain and simple, that brought me to that moment of clarity. Surrender to sobriety.. alleluia, now I can learn if I am willing to join and stay. It’s like my good friend Dale always sez “You need to come all the way in, an set all the way down”  No more giggles left in la la land for us!

Now WE begin to learn by our continued mistakes. Not near as as bad as before without sobriety and getting better. WE learn by attending meetings and listening to others talk about their mistakes. Best of all, we learn from those with time who have stayed in the program, done the work and transform their lives into something wonderful. That was HOW the faith I needed began to materialize. I started to think “ If that bozo can find his way home, maybe I can too! ”

Now, by God’s Grace and all you fine folks, I have received the impossible consequence. A result that I never ever believed I could ever achieve. A sober and forgiven life beyond my wildest dreams. 

The good news…

You too can have a life like this. Taylor made, with real divine purpose just for you from our loving God. Just find yourself a good sponsor with time to help you through, and keep coming back. “You’ll be amazed before your halfway through.” 

I guarantee it!

AA the healing hospital for the broken hearted. How does all that work? With my humble experience I will give this an abridged go. I am speaking here generally for the “WE” of recovery, not specifically, for I know there are many paths. 

It starts with brokenness. Usually after years of self abuse and inebriation in one form or another. We have allowed the lower power to push us to a point of self destruction. We fall through the door of AA not really believing it will work, not even sure we have a problem. We come in because we don’t really know what to do but, we know we really need to do something!

Joining a worldwide organization?

We are not joiners, but here we must, in order to live. The isolation has to end! So reluctantly, if we are honest with ourselves, we join. If it wasn’t free, we would never join because at this point many of us are broke! When you think about it, because it is free, it’s safe. Why join, because we are much sicker than we think we are and need some serious time in therapy with others who suffer from the same malady. As they say, “This didn’t happen overnight and you ain’t gonna get better that way either.”

Sponsorship?

You can’t do this alone because it won’t work. For best results, I recommend same sex sponsors for obvious reasons. If your not sure about what sex you are, look between your legs and you will see your answer. Besides getting someone with some serious time and step experience, most of us need fathering or mothering to help us understand life values. Sponsors can help us understand very important principles we ignored or never received growing up.

Progressing through the steps

Twelve steps of true honesty to God’s healing flow. Taken one by one in order with a sponsor. Not difficult just require honesty, willingness and dedication. For best results undertake these “steps” as a new living lifestyle. It’s worked for millions, it will work for you.

At the meeting the other day we spoke about recovery delivering back to us what we had lost in addiction. It has certainly done that, but more than that, I was thinking of what recovery has given me that I never ever had before. Having been in continuous recovery for many years I have a long list. At this writing however, I think I’ll just cover two.

Love it seems to me now, is what life is all about. Love is a funny thing, much like recovery in that “ You can’t keep it unless you give it away.” Maybe that’s what they were talking about? A spiritual problem needs a spiritual solution and Love is surely  a spiritual solution. Funny, like so many of us when I got here, I could not even love myself. Evident, by what I was doing to myself. Very different today for a balanced self love has returned and with it finally, the ability to truly love others.

Blessed Peace is where I live today. Connected, every moment that I choose to be, with our loving, faithful Father.  Serenity came shorty after I came into the program and started working the steps. I was standing on a busy intersection, in a hurry,  waiting on a red light to change when it hit me. The serene calm came down briefly, but so foreign to me  I didn’t even know what it was. I ask my sponsor about it. He said it was serenity and that it would come back and stay a little longer IF I stuck with the program. I didn’t believe him but, he was right. Now as crazy as it seems, instead of living in anxiety and chaos all the time seldom finding peace, I live in peace and seldom ever fall into anxiety… Amazing!

I could go on and on and on about what has been given to me. Spiritual gifts that come by seeking truth. The truth this cowboy did not know!  Thank God you did and didn’t keep it to yourselves. I think you had already had been taught …

To keep it you have to give it away.

Often in the rooms I hear other introduce themselves as a grateful alcoholic. Grateful I thought, what’s grateful about being an alcoholic? 

I have enjoyed a lot of sober time to ponder this question, and I have the answer…

After spending nearly twenty years under the influence, by God Grace I came into the rooms of A.A. Had I continued on, even if I could have maintained some level of “reasonable” drinking and or drugging, what kind of life would I have had? I can tell you exactly what type of life that would be. A black and white life of low level misery, never able to truly see the world around me or all God had blessed me with.

Without sobriety there is no clarity, only anxiety. There is no real gain only loss, and a very bitter end with the realization that your life had really amounted to nothing. 

What’s all this about? 

Simply cleaning up our lives through the steps, and believe it or not, being able to rest each moment in the presence of God. Sound amazing? It is! 

So.. grateful, oh yeah.

Much like addiction, this coaster at Bush Gardens supplies the same level of terror. 

You get into it and slowly over time, it climbs to an indescribable high. As you just come over the threshold of that forever climb to a dizzying precipice, the ride falls forward about forty-five degrees and locks with a loud clunk to an abrupt stop. Your legs fall out of the car underneath you into the air as you look straight down to witness the horrifying free fall you are about to undertake.

This analogy works perfectly for the newbie as well as the old timer. If you decide once again to pick up, whether you have twenty days or. twenty years, you WILL fall down that terrifying rabbit hole once again.

Maybe… to never never land.

What’s the most important step? Why the 1st one, because it took me nearly twenty years of living hell to take it! 

Are you convinced?