A few of Life's Terms I've Endured During My Sobriety 

Leukemia, Melanoma and throat Cancer

Escherichi Coli Shinga - Multiple COVID's

Two Divorces with and without children

Death of my parents and only son

The Helena hurricane and many others

By God's Grace still standing strong in recovery. You can too!

 

High Hopes

Pink Floyd / jacob of the iWorldband

As they say " Our ego is not our amigo." Others asked, what happen to you? " Rather than go into a thirty minute diatribe of life in addiction I reduced it to five. I heard this music by Pink Floyd entitled "High Hopes" Read more

As they say " Our ego is not our amigo." Others asked, what happen to you? " Rather than go into a thirty minute diatribe of life in addiction I reduced it to five. I heard this music by Pink Floyd entitled "High Hopes" on the radio. I felt it the perfect backdrop for my story.

My story.. just like every other addict/alcoholic.

Like the title says...

I had "High Hopes" for my future before addiction, but after I let it rule my life, I simply had "High Hopes" for well.. just getting higher.

Now saved by the blood of Christ by sharing my cross through recovery.

0:00/???
  1. 1
    High Hopes 5:12
    Lyrics
    0:00/5:12

The Stand

jacob of the iWorldband

Come to meetings, then after a while, you will "Come To." It takes a while! We were all so blinded by denial after years under the influence. Take it easy on yourself. You didn't get here overnight and you won't get well Read more

Come to meetings, then after a while, you will "Come To." It takes a while! We were all so blinded by denial after years under the influence. Take it easy on yourself. You didn't get here overnight and you won't get well that way either. As you told me, "be patient before you become one." Here is that rote journey we all have taken put to music. Simply the personification of alcoholism. Our best friend until it's not!

0:00/???
  1. 1
    The Stand ( Alcoholism ) 4:25
    Lyrics
    0:00/4:25

but God

jacob of the iWorldband

Finally the end of self. Faced with the reality of God. He either is and can do all things or He is not. My good friend Benny always use to speak about doubting and dwelling. As sinners, we all fall short but, over time, Read more

Finally the end of self. Faced with the reality of God. He either is and can do all things or He is not. My good friend Benny always use to speak about doubting and dwelling. As sinners, we all fall short but, over time, staying in the wrong places with the wrong people the lies can seem to start making sense. Soon we may start believing that we are not good enough and further, that we never will be.

Rest assured my friends that is the big lie.

The proof…

Join with us and see for yourself. We have all been brought from that bondage to a new freedom beyond our wildest dreams. You can be to! So don't listen to that dark tiny voice anymore, for your greatest miracle, in that wonder-filled neigborhood of God's Love, is waiting just for you.

0:00/???
  1. 1
    ..but God 3:42
    Lyrics
    0:00/3:42

CHANGE

Jacob of the iWorldband

You can attend meetings until you're blue in the face but, it won’t get you where you need to be. Action is required. Take the steps necessary for honest rigorous change. God loves you and will bring you true fulfillment if you let Him.

0:00/???
  1. 1
    CHANGE 5:20
    Lyrics
    0:00/5:20

The Pill

jacob of the iWorldband

Having been through Melanoma, later, in sobriety, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I began to fail. I started taking blood transfusions on a regular basis. When I started turning grey, I figured time was short but,I got Read more

Having been through Melanoma, later, in sobriety, I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I began to fail. I started taking blood transfusions on a regular basis. When I started turning grey, I figured time was short but,I got another miracle from God. A new drug that brought me back. When your life starts running out on you things get pretty serious. This song was written and produced with a lot of wonderful creative work from a very good friend.

0:00/???
  1. 1
    The Pill / 2022 Life Saving Medication 3:57
    Lyrics
    0:00/3:57

Only Child

jacob of the iWorldband

I received a call from my middle daughter, sobbing that my only son had died from Fentanyl. I had just recently given him his one year chip at my home group. I had written this song before that, for I had known many that Read more

I received a call from my middle daughter, sobbing that my only son had died from Fentanyl. I had just recently given him his one year chip at my home group. I had written this song before that, for I had known many that had lost children to this awful disease. Little did I know that I would suffer for the rest of my life from a similar consequence.

I was sober and a stanch recovery advocate during my sons short life I was hoping that would show Him the way...

0:00/???
  1. 1
    Only Child 4:02
    Lyrics
    0:00/4:02

A Memorial For My Only Son

jacob of the iWorldband & Son

A memorial for my precious only son. He became one of the hundred thousand that died that year from Fentanyl. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a loved one this way, for now I understand. He was so young and Read more

A memorial for my precious only son. He became one of the hundred thousand that died that year from Fentanyl. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a loved one this way, for now I understand. He was so young and had so much promise. Jails institutions and death, yes its as they say, nothing changes, if nothing changes.

More about the songs, feelings and reasoning below...

GROW: This music written by my son on guitar then filled out by me and the band with additional music, lyrics and vocal. As I look back on these first two songs GROW and KNOW. I see that they were really wishes I kept in my heart for him. My desire for him to ultimately "grow up".

Falling into addiction, I did not come to myself until I was thirty-three years old, unfortunately my son never made it. This song was the first we did together. When It was written, he was more advanced in his addiction than I realized. Living that secret life that we all do, "Know" has a short discussion in front of it that I wrote about the song idea which is what I would wish everyone new in recovery, including him, could have understood.

KNOW: Another guitar piece written by my son filled out with me with the band.. Know, speaks to the clarity that comes with time in solid recovery. It's about staying close and doing the work. If you stay with it, you will find a true knowing through revelation of the promises by working the steps in your life. To be sure, it is only by His Grace that the new freedom materializes.

We are all children of a living, loving God. My son was getting there, but he left recovery and decided on his own go back one more time. The power of the new cartel drugs on the street today, with their siren call, are to use an old circus term " death defying " . My son had such opportunity ahead of him but alas, he fell prey.

The following three songs were written by me and the iband for my son and all of you to help you understand what really needs to be understood.

TOO BAD: I was angry when this song was written about his hapless death. Ultimately, death was his fault, but most drug use is made available through the cartel. Over the past few years our southern borders were finally being made safe by the wall that was built, now, they stay open. I assure you the cartel is paying off to the evil powers that be. It's just the cost of doing business with other criminals, but here's what I have to say about that my friends..

YOUR CHILD MAY BE NEXT!

GRIEVE: What we, of the hundred thousand plus in 2022, are left with... inexpressible loss that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives.

ICU: Its the only place we can go when we need what no one else can give us.

0:00/???
  1. 1
    GROW 4:57
    Lyrics
    0:00/4:57
  2. 2
    KNOW 3:48
    Lyrics
    0:00/3:48
  3. 3
    TOO BAD 4:03
    Lyrics
    0:00/4:03
  4. 4
    GRIEVE 3:30
    Lyrics
    0:00/3:30
  5. 5
    ICU 4:29
    Lyrics
    0:00/4:29

Here I Am

jacob of The iWorldband

Now a new diagnosis of a different cancer that would required a seven weeks of chemo and radiation. My faith started failing wondering where God was in all of this but still knowing, that He loves me and in His own way is Read more

Now a new diagnosis of a different cancer that would required a seven weeks of chemo and radiation. My faith started failing wondering where God was in all of this but still knowing, that He loves me and in His own way is giving me what I need.

Older now, trying for a another comeback from cancer, I will see how things work out. This new work speaks to prayer as the solution when that's all that's left. By God's Grace, sobriety and a clear mind has enabled me to create a solid medical plan, now it is up to God. I have done all I can do. Must stay positive and know that God has a plan for me. If I can get back on my feet, I stil hope to travel and speak on the road as before, but only in God's time.

0:00/???
  1. 1
    HERE I AM 2:28
    0:00/2:28

Live to Give

jacob of the iWorldband

As old age creeps in and life is getting closer to being over, I am delighted to say that with everyone’s help, the light's did come on! Now knowing the true purpose of my life here on earth.

It’s not that I always do Read more

As old age creeps in and life is getting closer to being over, I am delighted to say that with everyone’s help, the light's did come on! Now knowing the true purpose of my life here on earth.

It’s not that I always do what needs to be done, but at least most of the time I KNOW what needs to be done, IF I am only willing to do it. I can’t earn anything for myself for its already been paid for but, if I can give just a little bit more to others today, I will always receive so much more back in return.

“ Love Conquers All ”

0:00/???
  1. 1
    LIVE TO GIVE 4:13
    Lyrics
    0:00/4:13